Beckett is One Month Old!

I've been a bit of a slacker lately with the whole blogging thing. We're still getting adjusted to our new life as a family of four, and I feel like there's so much on my to-do list every day that blogging gets pushed to the bottom of the list. I heard somewhere that one kid is one kid, but two is like a hundred. Actually, it might have been Kim Kardashian, but she was totally right! It can be so overwhelming at times, and it's hard to not feel like a horrible mother when Kid #1 is left playing on her own (or watching Daniel Tiger) for what feels like forever while you deal with Kid #2 (or, you know, pee). 

But, as of last Friday, we've survived a full month, and now that we're finally figuring out Beck's eat/play/sleep routine, I think we're doing just fine.

I can't believe how much he's already changed!! 

It's crazy to look back and see how ginormous I was. The "fourty" (haha!) week pic was taken just two days before Beck was born! 

One Month Stats

About 10 lbs  & 22 ½ in long

I have black hair, grayish-brown eyes, & the longest eyelashes ever

I love to grunt & chirp in my sleep, watch the ceiling fans, to hold big sis's hand during diaper changes, and bath time.

I hate to be swaddled, but love sleeping in the Solly wrap.

I can smile at mommy & hold my head up at tummy time.

I hate waiting to eat! 

Mommy & Daddy call me "Bubbaloo," "Little Man," & "Big Guy" 

Big Sis calls me "Babe"

And just like that, another First Month is in the books. (Or, in this case, first month plus one week!) I want to tell him to quit growing up, but really, maybe just a little bit. Cuz a full night's sleep would be amazing right now! 

He's Here! - Part 2 - Another Baby, Another NICU

Yep. You read that correctly. The day after Beckett was born, we ended up in the NICU...again. Thankfully, the whole situation was not as serious or terrifying as what we went through with Z (you can read about that here), thank God!

You may remember that I had to go through the one-hour glucose screen a second time at about 34 weeks, due to my "advanced" age (I was a few weeks from my 40th birthday), and the fact that I was expected to deliver a behemoth baby. My levels were slightly elevated (probably thanks to the peanut butter toast I had for breakfast - stupid idea!) and I had to undergo the horrible 3 hour fasting test the next week. This time, my numbers were practically hypoglycemic, which is actually pretty normal for me. No big surprise there, and the subject was immediately dropped. And then I ended up having a not-so-behemoth baby, at least by our standards.

Beck weighed in at 8lbs 14oz. Not tiny by any standard, but certainly not gigantic. Or so we thought. By the reactions of pretty much every single person we came into contact with, you would have thought he was the size of a Volkswagen. We thought it was ridiculous, but whatever - he still wore newborn size diapers...how big could he be? Anyway, because Beck was considered LGA - large for gestational age (which begins at 8lb 13oz, btw) - they began testing his blood sugar every two hours. Apparently there is a risk for hypoglycemia, though it was never really explained to us. You hear "blood sugar", you think diabetes. And because such a big deal was made about my possibly having gestational diabetes, which was such a joke, we just assumed that was what the problem was.

Well, we were moved to the Mother & Baby side of the maternity floor, and a nurse came in every couple of hours to check me out and to test Beck's blood sugar. Apparently, protocols had recently changed and we could never get a clear answer as to what the magic number was, but apparently, he never hit it. So, since they didn't administer IVs in the Well Baby nursery, Beck had to be moved to the NICU to get hooked into a bag of dextrose to help regulate his sugar levels. Thankfully, the NICU was just down the hall, but the neonatologist was a super douche about the whole thing. He never really explained anything, just said "If you don't let us admit him, your baby could have BRAIN DAMAGE" and left us. We pretty much had no choice. I was still in my hormonal daze and we were both exhausted. Our brains were spinning and all of our previous NICU baggage came back to the surface. We just wanted to be lazy and enjoy our time with our new baby before we returned to the chaos of home. No such luck. At that point, that douchey doctor could have said just about anything and we would have gone along with it.

Within the hour, Beck was moved and two sweet NICU nurses hooked up his IV and all the monitors. Damon was quietly freaking out. I tried to keep it positive. We were told it would just be overnight. I could pop in to nurse and snuggle whenever I wanted and then we'd have him back the following evening. Except that it never really worked out. Still not getting any clear answers, Beck's numbers would be great three draws in a row, and the fourth would be deemed too low, so they needed his numbers to read consistently high. But how high, we never knew. He was otherwise completely healthy. Showed no other symptoms, whatever those were. Someone decided that they needed to supplement with formula and (we are certain) he was overfed. All in the name of getting his numbers up. By day three, (yes. day. three.) they had weaned Beck off the dextrose, still supplemented my milk with formula, and although he was showing great numbers, we still had no info from that horrible doctor and no two nurses could give us the same answer. What had to happen for us to take him home?!

I had already been discharged with flying colors, Zoey was home with my mom and was slowly unravelling, and we were longing to bring our baby boy home. In our eyes, there was no reason for him to still be there. The only healthy baby in the NICU. And the word "hypoglycemia" was never uttered. We found out after we were all discharged, that Beck's numbers were fine for at least 36 hours. So what the hell were we still doing there? Well, it was the weekend. Were they waiting till Monday to discharge? Insane.

The nurse practitioner that was on duty on Sunday - Father's Day- told us Beck's numbers were fine and Damon would be getting his Father's Day wish. We were taking the kid home! I really think the weekend nurse who had been tending to Beck was pushing for us, too. Actually, all of the nurses were wonderful, just not clear on these new protocols.

Honestly, this post has been so hard to write, partly cuz I'm still pissed and partly cuz I still can't wrap my head around the whole thing. If Beck had weighed a few less ounces, would they have even checked his blood sugar in the first place? Was any of this even necessary? We will never know. I can tell you that Beck is perfect. He eats well, sleeps well, and poops...a lot. Basically the newborn hat trick. And Zoey, well, she's almost 3 ½, so she's a challenge from time to time, but she's totally in love with her baby.

Baby #2 - He's Here! - Part One

You guys, so much has happened since my last post! All of it centered around our sweet little man, Beckett Matthew!

Born June 15 at 4:48pm
8lbs 14oz      21in
(No one can really agree on his length. Every document is different, anywhere from 20 - 21 ¾ in. 
I decided to just split the difference!)

I was scheduled to be induced at 40 weeks + 2 days. Apparently, when you're over a certain age, going full term is no bueno. But, since I was fit and had a healthy pregnancy, (and after seeking out a second opinion from another one of my doctors) I was allowed to go full term. I really didn't want to deal with induction, after hearing a lot of negative stories through the years. And even though so many of you guys shared your positive induction tales, I still was totally freaked out about it. I kinda felt like the kid would come when he was ready. 

The day before my induction, I had an appointment with an ultrasound, a non-stress test, and an exam. The ultrasound showed that baby boy was squished, but in great shape (and weighing in at around 8 ½ lbs), the non-stress test showed that his heart was strong, and my exam showed that although I had been progressing (yay for dilation!), he was in no rush to make his way into the world. But the PA said something during my exam that stuck with me...lots of women tend to go into labor in the 24 hours after an exam. Now, I can't be sure, but I swear she did something to help things along. Because 12 hours later, things got started.

By 1am, I started timing my contractions, and by 4am, I was waking Damon to head to the hospital. My contractions got intense quickly, but were wildly erratic. Some were 20 minutes apart, then I'd have a few that were less than a minute apart, then I'd just have one long continuous cramp. It made me nervous, so I just wanted to get to the hospital. By the time I made it into the birthing room, things were progressing, and the bag of pitocin just sat on the cart. I was in terrible pain, so by mid-morning, they called in the anesthesiologist, who got my epidural going. Although getting the epidural was a painful experience this time (mostly my fault as I was going through one of those extra long contractions at the time and just couldn't relax), I was so happy to have it, I could have kissed that doctor on the lips!
 I have always had pretty low blood pressure, and this time, it posed a tiny problem...After the epidural got going and they had me lay flat, I started feeling sick. I totally thought it was just my reflux, so I asked the nurse if I could sit up. Then I started feeling light headed and my ears were ringing. The nurse asked if I also was seeing stars, which I wasn't, but man, was the room spinning. She pushed some epinephrine into my iv and I instantly felt better. Turns out, the epidural caused my blood pressure to bottom out and I was a second away from completely passing out! The nurse said she'd never seen it happen so quickly! After that excitement, things settled down and were pretty routine. Damon and I spent the day watching HGTV while nurses popped in and out to check me and offer me popsicles. I was starving, by now it was lunchtime and I hadn't eaten since dinner the night before and all I could think about was grilled cheese sandwiches and fries. Not quite the same, but it would have to do...give me all. the. popsicles!!!
By the time Ellen was on at 3, baby boy was showing no signs of dropping, even after my doctor broke my water, so the nurse brought in Mr. Peanut - similar to one of those exercise balls, but peanut shaped...obvi. I had to lay on my side and throw one leg over the peanut. Totally ridiculous and unexpectedly comfortable. Wish I had taken a picture! I'm not sure how, but it worked...by the time the nurse returned to do a test push, I was ready for the real deal. Just like with Zoey, three contractions and pushes later...baby Beck was on my chest, all perfect and gross and covered in goo. Amazing!

Zoey came to meet Beck the next day, and was a little unsure at first. it didn't take long for her to slip into her role as big sis. She's totally smitten!

I wish I could say that we spent our time at the hospital staring at our beautiful boy and being taken care of by the nurses before we all went home together. That's only part truth (the nurses were all amazing!). I did finally get a grilled cheese that I inhaled in about three bites! But because of Beck's "large" size (which is ludicrous in my opinion), he had some issues with his blood sugar. I'll tell you now that he's totally fine, but there's definitely a story there. A story for another post.

Always such a grumpy face!